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Bullying in the Church
Jill and Richard were both elected members of a pastoral care committee in the church. When Jill was asked to serve as the committee representative on the pastoral search committee, Richard indicated to her privately that he could not support that decision because she could not speak for him. Jill met with him at a local coffee shop to discuss the issue. During the meeting, Richard began by questioning her opinions and wondering if she was even a Christian. He told her that her involvement in the church had caused the church to falter, and her expressed opinions were causing difficulties for the church. He told her about people she loved and trusted who were “on their knees praying” that she might see the error of her ways. He also called the Bible translation she used in teaching Sunday School (NRSV) into question, calling it a feminist Bible. Further, he accused her of giving communion to young children, including his son and daughter, in Sunday School. He based this on a lesson she had presented on the Passover when she had given the children an opportunity to eat unleavened bread and bitter herbs. Discussion with Richard was impossible. He was a large man with a very loud voice. After the barrage of intimidating accusation Jill felt completely paralyzed and full of self-doubt. She questioned her ability to serve in the church at all and would have withdrawn from involvement had it not been for the other members of the committee and the pastor who supported her. This meeting made it difficult for Jill to work on the committee with Richard. During the committee meetings Richard would act as though nothing had happened. He was civil to everyone on the committee. However, he continued to make phone calls to her and to her husband, often on a cell phone, in which he would berate them for their negative influence in the church and accuse them of corrupting the church. Fortunately for Jill and her husband there was support for them among other committee members and church members. Richard left the church soon after to join another. Note from Jane Woelk, Coordinator of “Voices for Non-Violence” MCC Manitoba: “Bullying in the church does occur. It is important for congregations to implement a Bullying Policy, and to train church leaders to recognize signs of bullying. When incidents of bullying are reported, the leadership of the church needs to make sure that these incidents are investigated and responded to. Support for the victims must be given and volunteers and employees in the church need to be informed of where to report the bullying if their church leaders/staff or even pastors are displaying bullying behaviours.” For guidance on drafting an anti-bullying policy for your church, visit: the Canadian Safety Council's website |
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